Day 2....of Forever....

I made the decison that "now was the time" to SPEAK or forever hold my peace
I had tossed in bed at night for days on end, which had turned into weeks
I had thought of all the possible outcomes,scenarios et el--prepared for my fate
I had rehearsed this speech like 100 + times(can you tell this was hard?)
So on Sunday after church and shopping and cleaning and cooking
I dailed THE number 24 times, but hung up
So I took the easy(easier) way out and PINGED on BBM,
..and I typed, and typed and typed and typed.
...but I could not hit send for another 30mins. it just stayed 'unsent'...while I cleaned some more.(my house was already spotless at this point)
I Finally did after a friend talked me through it and finally in what seemed like years, HE replied. I was shaking.
I got my answer(s),NOT what I wanted to hear(read).but knowing is always better right?
THIS is day two of forever... it is hard. but...

LESSON LEARNED: My philosphy works--> "Allow room for major fuckery, so when someone disappoints you, you just shrug and keep it moving"

This whole talking about feelings thing is actually great. Watch me finally become mean. P.S A mean Ms.O is not a good thing. #EVL(Evil villan laugh)

Song That reflects my Mood.:
Tiwa Savage Kele Kele Love

P.S I still HATE/DESPISE Subliminals on TWITTER! #ThatisAll
Can you guys tell I am WAY happier than I have been in weeks?? Yes? No?..meh!
Hugs and Kisses
Ms.O

25 comments:

neefemi said...

i always think its better to know. sorry that it wasn't what you wanted to hear though. we don't want you to be mean though, please, plus i think its not worth it. Don't know all the details sha, but i hope you are happier for it.

((((huuuuggggsss)))

Sting said...

I'm glad u r happier. That's a good thing.

Anonymous said...

*High Five* *Fist Bump* *Chest Bump* *Side Booty Bump*, all to you jo.
Girl. It is so much better knowing. I have no idea what you are talking about but I can make a guess. Once you get to like Day 21, it will stop sucking so much. I tip my hat to you dear, you did the right thing. You have the right to demand certain things from men and if they are willing to give it then its onward march.
I wish I heard this Kele Kele love song years ago when I was fooling myself in a kele kele love situation. I became mean afterwards and this one bold guy waded through all the meanness and has shown me kele kele love is not the standard at all.

Jaycee said...

LOL Funms. I think it's the fact that you finally let this thing out of your chest that's making you happy. I'm so happy you let it out. Storing up things in our hearts never work out, but letting go does.

Now my prayer for you is that you will know inside you that no matter what happens in your future, God has got your back if you trust Him :)

Miss Enigma a.k.a UnderCover07 said...

This edited post...lol...is this how we are practicng being an open book?

The relief is from finally knowing, and now being able to plot out a move forward plan (if there is anything lyk dat) But now u r free luv!!! Kudos to you!!! Lyk sum1 said, it will be much better!!!

But as for that mean Ms.O ermmmm pls tell her she is not wanted; we love our Ms.O just as she is!!!!!

Hugssssss! PS:I'm excited for u know what!!!

Ms.O said...

@Nefi- Aww hugs back to you babe!!! Way happier! well not right now.. but in the long run! thanks mama!

@Sting- Def happier! THANks!

@ANON- omg! You just made me so happy and I do not even know who you are! Thank you so much mam. I am now looking for the one person that proves to me that kele kele love is not the norm as well..:)

@Jaycee- you called me Funms!!!..hehe! Thank you! It took enough prayer and reading my Bible to even find the strength. I know with God by my side everything would be fine.

@Enigma- YES I AM EXCITED!!!LOL! for me this is writing way too much! Don't worry you can know the gist. You are so right before I was making 'half' decisions in my head, because I did not know the future. But now that I do, I can move forward and make better decisions that affect my entire future. hehe.. thanx mama!

Miss FlyHigh said...

You know my thoughts already lol

Whoop whoop.

Remember don't be mean :p

Jaycee said...

LOLLLLL...yes I did Ms. O. Don't mind me.

Azazel said...

Allow space fi major fuckerey - lol that quote has been with me ever since..
I actually feel that it has done more to harm my general trust in people. lol

9jaPhoenix said...

hmmn...yeah well now ya know, hurtin' as it might :D

Oh yeah and I love twitter subliminals, please! Ahnahn, most especially when I think I know exactly who its pointed at

Anonymous said...

omo that kele kele song is just a sick tune....total lovage.....what's up with the weekend, gatta jam the ish mehn...chivi is done...aiite later....that orobo head can like to peace out...better things to come....your one and only cici...btw am still hurting from the gym but have yoga in like one hour..will call later...toodles

Ms.O said...

@Ms Fly- hehe yes I do! Thanx babe!

@jaycee-- its ok..I forgive you!

@azael-my lil brother!! I milzz u!

@Phoneix- Thanx.. I like to ready other peoples subliminals. I hate when 'someone' subliminals me!!! tres annoying!

@CICI- Olowdow!!1 What are you doing here! And dont call ehem a big head... LMAO! ode! We are stil friends!

leggy said...

hope you do feel better? ignorance is bliss but not in all cases.im glad you are happy now dear.

Blowing Blessings Your Way said...

The truth may hurt but it always sets one free! You deserve better boo!

TayneMent said...

Good for you jare. I like your vibe:)

Tisha said...

least
you did your best.

The best is still ahead
and it is not a platitude

I know how irritating platitudes can be. Its God's word. The path of the righteous is ever brighter

Forget human opinion, all they are talking about is personal experience

~Sirius~ said...

Yaaay! for Mrs O winning.
I actually voted, hence my excitement.

Ok.......with respect to this post.
Hmmmm......as my girl will say "these things do happen"

You are already feeling better is a VERY good singn
*wink

You are a survivor.........so fret not!

Ms.O said...

@LEGGY- Yes babes i do. Thanx!!

@Blessings- Its damn sure feels better.

@Taynement-Thanx babes

@Tisha-Thanx babe

@Sirius- Thanx babes!

Nigerian Blog Awards (GNG) said...

Kudos on doing it! It's better to know than wonder...you were brave! I'm sorry the answer wasn't what you wanted but I think time will help...and now you're freed up for better things, iBelieve.

mizchif said...

Errr.....No boo!
You know half gist is not cool right?

I'm happy you're happy.
:)

mizchif said...

Oh and all this talk about subliminals, babe you can like to point a sister in the direction of such, let me too see and (not) like ehn!

BBB said...

sweetheart
hugs!!!!!!!!!

i feel for you
hope ur good

i am going thru d exact thing and its so jhard
but urs will def be a victory
draw strength from friends dats what am doing

its will be fine
am goin to download dat song now

PS yes am happybbb

Ms.O said...

NBA- Aww thank you GNG! I need to ask you some questions regarding camping!! I want to go!

Mizchif- LOL! but the gist is very out there now! I'm very private sowwy..:( This was even alot of me. LOL! I swear the #Subtweets are just too much! sigh!
Thank you!

BBB-Aww thank you sweety. I was not that emotionally vested in mine so it is not as hard as yours. Hope you are good. ((hugs))

akabagucci said...

Clearly definition is the way to go.... hurtful, but needful....

Original Mgbeke said...

I just read your other random, I definitely like the way you are going about your biz. Talking it out, and not holding things in, building a self loving relatonship with yourself. The posts had me cheesing. Life will be full of disappointments but as long as you stay true to yourself and be the best that you can be, I believe that it will be fulfilling for you. Keep it up! :)