Lord iNeed You.

I was on my desk at work on Monday morning at about 11:20am and I had my ipod on shuffle. A song come on that I had not heard in a while. It is called "How deeply I need you" by the Shekinah Glory Choir. I had to stop what I was doing and just listen. I began to cry, I was so emotional and overwhelmed, I then had to excuse myself and go to the ladies room to compose myself. I started thinking why this song affected me so much today, and i realised that it is because I know the kind of life I have been living lately. I don't pray as much, I don't attend church as much, I don't attend bible study anymore. I stopped going for youth meetings and in general I just relaxed in my walk with God and I am truly ashamed of all of this. Sometime last yr, I took a vow with God to live my life in the best possible way I can and I was consistent for a while. But what do I do 6months later, I am back to clubbing, partying and just unnecessary things that at the end of the day won't matter. Like I said in my last post of 2009, I always wobble/stumble on my walk with God but what is so amazing is that whenever I say OK Lord take me back. He just does. I know I have to find a way to make my walk with God firm and stable and stop all these stumbling every couple of months. I don't know I guess i just need God to help me on this one. Jesus I need you..Deeply deeply I truly need you...


p.s This is one of my most personal posts in a while. I just felt I had to share this one.

Loves you BlogFam, you guys really do make me happy! I know I don't say it often, but I appreciate you guys for the comments and constant love I feel in this lil home of ours.

OK enough sappiness's for one day!
Hugs and Kisses
Ms.O

#MusicMonday-Gospel Playlist

31 comments:

Good Naija Girl said...

Awww, I think we've all been there when we just know our walk isn't as strong as it could be. Like you said, the best part is knowing that God will always take us back. ((hugs))

Now, that song, was it playing with the slideshow of the shoot Ross Oscar Knight did of that guy who had like gold plated roses for his engagement?

akaBagucci said...

we all need Him.... hang in there..

neefemi said...

thats all you can do..i feel you because i find myself thinking about him a lot, but necessarily doing what i ought to and yet he remains merciful...

Jaycee said...

That song affects me too...and I know why, we can never be self-sufficient without God. And yeah, when the tears fall don't see it as a sign of defeat, but victory. :)

BBB said...

i completely understand..
i went backwards also this year. cos i believ i ended last yera on a high note but lately av not been walking with God.....

its time to reevaluate

Ms.O said...

@GNG! Ohh that was the first time I heard the song! I loved it! ahh how I wish....

@Bagucci-Yes Love I am...

@Neefemi-He is merciful..always and forever

@Jaycee- Thank you for coming by. I do feel victorious today...Thank you for the kind words..:)

@BBB- it really is time to reevaluate!

Thanks to all of you! You made me smile!

rethots said...

...our only hope He is.

Harry-Rami Itie said...

We all need Him...truth is...He is right there with you

Ms.O said...

Thanx for coming by...

Anyaposh said...

hunny, I don't think there's anything wrong with going to a club; I think Jesus would go to the club but I guess for different reasons. As long as your heart is pure and you're not in some dark corner snogging with someone random or lustfully displaying erotic moves on the dance floor then you're good. Anyway, that is my opinion. If you feel bad for doing it, then you shouldn't because your conscience has set a standard.

Other than that, I hope everything else is going well with you!

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Miss FlyHigh said...

**HUG**

Your so adorable you are, I know it's besides the point but that's why I like you hehehe.

It's so easy to say that is how I totally feel but it is.You know what though? We have brothers and sisters out there maybe you should turn to one of them for accountability or something.

You could e-mial me and we could encourage eachother babe:)

Holy Spirit is there to convict etc but not to condemn. Sometimes when I get in this state I thank God because atleast he stops me before I go to far.

take care hun

F said...

I am going through exactly the same thing so this post really hit home. I love Miss FlyHigh's point that the spirit of God convicts and does not condemn. I guess such feelings are meant to encourage us to strengthen our conviction, instead of making us depressed... I guess it's something we go through without realising others are in the same position. The question is how ready we are to do something about it.

Ms.O said...

@AnyaPosh- BABES! Whenever I read comments from you, I am so happy! I dont even know why. I dont necessarily feel bad about clubbing. Its just that when I dont balance both lifestyles it bothers me. If I am gonna go to a club on a sat night. I need to still wake up to go to church no? At least that is how I see it.. Hope you good..xx!

@ms_lnq!!! I like you too hun! You are too nice! I will most def be e-mailing you! I spoke to someone at my church already..she is like my older sister..I think I am back on the right path. Will def be emailing you..((((hugs)))))

@F-So far I think I am ready to do something about it. I just hope the HolySpirit gives me guidance and direction. thank you for stopping by..

Writefreak said...

That you always want to go back to Him is a great thing...and He is always there with opne arms...
The fact that you think you need to stop stumbling though is a call to maturity..you need to lay aside the weight and sins..
Who are you friends? The friends we keep also help or mar us in our walk with God.
I pray you will draw closer to Him and that You will always heed His call!
Take care

yankeenaijababe said...

@Ms.o...thanks for sharing, we all make mistakes but it's never too late to change and start a new and better relationship with God. Going to church doesn't make one a good christian but one's behavior both inside and outwards. Even going to the club doesn't make one a bad or a good christian, so don't be too harsh on yourself.

I recommend that you read your bible and pray every morning, start with the book of psalms or new testament, one step at a time, church twice a month or if you can make it every Sunday. I believe in having a personal relationship with God not the everyday rituals of church activities or services...hugs!

Ms.O said...

@Writefreak. Thank your for the encouraging words. you always inspire me

@YNC- My sister! I am trying babes! I will do what you have suggested so far. Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate you!

Kola Tubosun said...

Receive the grace in Jesus' name. Amen!

TayneMent said...

There really is something in the air, feel better dear.hugs

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lani said...

I guess I've been jus like that before and hope I keep my vow this time. It is really courageous of you to post this. It is real and touches me. Wish you all the best

Ms.O said...

Kola-Thank you

@Taynement-Thanx Dear!

@Thank you for coming by Lani!

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Tinu said...

Lohi I need to do the same me and God have a lot to talk about!

Rita said...

Darling, it is not easy to make such vows and keep it. It is by the grace of God.

It is amazing that God could reach out to you through the song. It is also a great thing that ur heart is receptive...and God sees our heart.

I pray your walk with God is strengthened each day, and you will be able to identify on time those things that make you deviate in your walk.

We all need God, thanks for sharing this post.

Ms.O said...

@Tinu-- you most def should. I am thinking of starting an e-Bible study like once a week...hmm

@Rita Thank you. I think I know the things that make me deviate unfortunately it is hard to give up old habits quickly I am however trying really hard right now. I need God and nothing else.

Thanks for stopping by guys..xx!

BSNC said...

I feel you babe. I need to get closer to God : (

Ms.O said...

We all o dear.. before it is too late! Catch you on twirra!

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